My mother’s name was Betlin Jasman Singh.
My first memory of my mother was when I saw that she had a grey hair on her eyebrow, and I was alarmed. This was in Letterkenny, Guyana. I believe that my mother was 43 years old. She used to dress with multi-colored scarves around her head. And, she had a 2-piece dress with buttons up the front, and the top. She never wore much jewelry.
As a child, I was one of five girls in our house, with three brothers! We were ten, with my mother and my father. My mom was not a great cook. My sisters–Inez & Eunice—did most of the cooking. They cooked the exotic foods at festivals. Some of the exotic foods were Christmas cake (in which they put rum and fruits); and pine tarts (which were pineapple, inside of a pastry). Actually, my mother didn’t really cook. Eunice cooked the regular food for us.
I remember being worried, because my mother was a Hindu, but my dad, my brothers, and sisters and I, were all Christians. My brothers were not church goers, but the girls were. We were introduced to Christianity by missionaries who came to Guyana, through my dad’s siblings. There was a bit of tension. I knew that my mother was a Hindu because she would not go to church. However, she would dress me and my sisters up nicely: me, Barbara, and Julie. My mother and my dad would watch us march to church.
My mother had a temper. She was a bit uncivilized. I would say that she was a fighting warrior. She did fight, and cursed quite a bit. Because she was a bit uncivilized, my mother did not know how to bring up daughters. We however, were civilized, and upscale. My sisters and I were always trying to upscale ourselves. This was because we followed Auntie Eilleen, who was one of the missionaries of the church.
I think that my mother felt a bit threatened—because she was losing control over us. When she felt threatened, she would yell at us at the top of her voice—loud enough that all the neighbors would hear. She kept telling us that we were not good enough for men! My mother wanted to marry my sisters and I off at 16, to local boys. This was the custom; all the neighbors were marrying their kids off. The traditional gift to a married couple at that time was one glass, one plate! My mom would make a note of what she gave to the neighbors at their weddings…and then she would chew us out for not getting married, because she would not get the presents back!
There was tension in our household because my sisters and I were trying to be respectable, upscale, and not like the ordinary people outside. We were in the house, studying, and churchgoing. We were really coached by my dad in this way; one sibling after another. We vowed that we would not be like my mom.
One time though, these matters did reach a head. My dad, mother, and sister all agreed that I would marry a local guy…just because he was a tailor! I had a nervous breakdown and went to the hospital. I did not want to do it. I wanted to go abroad, and make something of myself. I couldn’t wait to leave home, because there were times when my mom and I would stop talking. We stopped talking because I wanted my peace. I would stick psalms all over my room. Eventually, I was the first of my siblings to leave Guyana. I was always ambitious. I do not think that my mother developed a temper because of a hard childhood. I think that it was just the Indian culture at that time. Over the course of time however, when we had prayer meetings in our house. We saw that my mother loved Jesus more and more. When she became a Christian, she restrained herself, and treated us better.